Randomness

I wonder if people who hurt others through lies and deceit walk around with a heaviness inside. If not, I wonder how they do it because I am in pain. I feel like I will never have true joy in my life again, just a life of existing, and that's not living at all.

Breathe...Breathe...Breathe

COLOR

SHADES OF BLUE, BLACK AND GREY
NOTHINGNESS
HOLLOW
SHADES OF GREY

STANDING
IN THE MIDST
OF
SHAME
ALOOFNESS
SHADES OF BLACK

BRUISED
BROKEN
UNABLE TO FLY
NEAR
THE
END
SHADES OF BLUE
COVERED IN A
CANOPY
OF
DEATH

Random Thoughts Not Too Random

Another year is coming to an end. A year full of misgivings, mistakes, heart ache, pain, sorrow, tears, heart break, hope lost...a year of confusion. I wish there was some way I could turn back the hands of time and do things differently, but sadly, I can not.

As 2008 comes to an end, I look towards 2009, wondering. There are goals to be set and accomplished. No more letting laziness and procrastination take control. With the Creator at the helm of my ship, I will sail waters uncharted, climb mountains rugged, travel roads wide and narrow, face my fears head on and keep moving forward.

2008...a year to learn from.

2009...a year to grow and blossom

QUESTION

NOW WHAT?

Lost

somewhere between the grey skies

and muddy waters

that is where i am

with no light at the end of the tunnel

lost

YES

FEELING GREAT TODAY
I CLOSE MY EYES
AND
SEE
THE SATISFACTION
OF
MY TOUCH

Thankful

Today I am
Thankful
For
Everything

My Prayer

I don't know where the winds of time will take me, us. Every morning I pray for wisdom and strength and clarity and guidance. I can only leave things in Gods hands.

The Moon Saved Me

Words written by My Beloved....


Beautiful is the moon, full and bright for all to see. The moon has whispered softly, in a voice reserved solely for me. "Be patient my dearest flower, for the sun shall shine again, but in the mean time rest your petals and know in me you have a friend. "My heart smiled beneath wilted petals, on a hot summer's night, the coolness of the full moon embraced me, giving me strength to continue the fight. Alone I have been in the struggle, in solitude I grew bitter from fear, but a rain shower fell upon me, and the sun's words were loud and clear,"Dearest Flower I left you only for the night, but by day my light is for you, seek shelter from the storms of life. You, my dearest flower, are my inspiration to rise each day, i adore you like no other and with you my warmth shall stay." In love we were once again the sun kissed the droplets away, enveloped in a blanket of love, for now and all my days.

Only You God

Only you know which way my life will end up

For guidance along the way I pray

Make me humble so that it is your voice I hear

Cleanse my heart of negative thoughts letting me see with a renewed spirit and mind

Most of all give me a forgiving heart and forgive me off all wrong doings

My soul is in shambles

I need peace

Believe

I know you may find this hard to believe because I have hurt you

But

I love you more than you will ever know.

Color Code

Blue gray hues infuse my existence
Bringing music that does not soothe my soul
No longer do I see the bright colors of spring
No longer is my soul at ease

Blue gray

Specks of mud colored bars
Streak across the sky
Instead of the orange red
Of the setting sun

Blue gray

Blue gray

Blue gray

Tainted

Forever
Tainted
In
Her
Eyes
And
Heart

Sleepless Venture

Sleep evades
Headache ensues
Brought on by
Thoughts too heavy
For the soul to bare

What comes next

I MISS YOU

I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS

BUT IT NEEDS

TO

LEAVE

SO THAT WE CAN

BE

WHOLE

AGAIN

Beloved...

when you hear my voice, what goes through your mind, what do you feel?

when you see me, does your heart smile the way mine does when i see you?

what is in your heart and mind this very moment?

Soul Desires

My soul is bruised everytime a tear falls from your eye or
your heart is made sad

When you show or voice your unhappiness
My soul becomes empty
Ready to be filled with that
which pains you

My soul longs to return home
To you

I Miss You

I'm laying in bed talking to you and
I Miss You

I ache from within knowing I've caused you pain and
I Miss You

My nights and mornings are spent in bed alone oh how
I Miss You

MEMORIES

Memories are nice at times

But other times

THEY SUCK!!!!

SIGH

Sometimes good intentions go awry and feelings get hurt.

Love

In life we oft times hurt the one we love, never intending to, but it happens...an unfortunate occurrence. Then come questions like Why and How Come.

I just want to say

I'm Sorry

I LOVE YOU

And

ONLY YOU

I treasure

You

You still make

My

Heart smile

My heart still beats

Fast

When I think of you

I'm Sorry!

looking into your eyes
i found peace
tranquility
for once
i found a love
love i could
feel
embrace
hold onto

pain no longer
your love filled the cracks
here i stand
again
with open arms
heart
you've walked back into
my embrace
tentative
but you are here
and i am happy
all i want
is to love you
hold you
without
letting
go
again

I LOVE YOU!!!

Heart Break

my heart
lonely
cracked
bruised
shrinking
bleeding
not from past loves
but self inflicted
blood
dripping
starting to flow
i'm sorry
for
everything
my heart needs to heal
mend
to be
forgiven

i
am
lost

Sunshine

leaves once vibrant and green
nourished by sunlight and rain
green became brown
life gave way to impending death
death caused by organisms
attached to the roots
slowly choking
life escapes
no more sun
no more rain

i want my sunshine again

Hi Babe

i should be cleaning up but i just wanted to put it out there that i am thinking of my baby. kisses my sweet.

Thought For Today

You are stronger than anything standing in your way. Because you have a purpose that cannot be denied.
Often that purpose is difficult and inconvenient to follow. Yet it is never impossible to follow.
There is always a way. If the path you're on is blocked, look for another route, because it is surely there.
You can be flexible, innovative, determined and persistent. You can imagine any possibility, and then work to make that possibility real.
Every moment, every circumstance, every turn of events presents you with an opportunity to act. Take those opportunities, make those actions come to life, and express the purpose that is uniquely you.
Step up and embrace the responsibility for moving your life forward. Whatever may come, there is always a way.

-- Ralph Marston

Quote Of The Day

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”

~~Ralph Marston

Quotes To Live By

“Every day you spend drifting away from your goals is a waste not only of that day, but also of the additional day it takes to regain lost ground”

--Ralph Marston

R. L. LOVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

YES

I am very happy

what

about

YOU

Lee

Lee, you will do well today. Just take a deep breath and go in with confidence. I love you!

one day there will be no distance

when that day comes

i hope you wont tire

and grow weary

Change

Change was coming, Change is here, Change makes me smile.